Mother's Day

It has been an uneasy week. Amidst all of the other distractions in our home this week, I had in the back of my mind today was approaching. Mother's day is one of the most difficult days of the year for women who have been struggling to be one. I am very lucky to still have my mother. There was a time I didn't know if that would be the case. I appreciate her and celebrate that today. But..........If I'm being completely honest, there is part of me that can't wait for today to be over.

I found myself quickly flipping through a TV channel this week if there was a commercial on for a Mother's Day sale, which there a a freaking lot of. Avoiding the question from people who don't know me, "what are you doing for Mother's Day?" Providing the canned response, "we don't have any children."

I find myself already thinking about our future child's birth mother.
I will forever share this day with her. There will be people who ask, "Have you met their real mother? What happened to their real mother?" Or......"oh you are his adoptive mom." The title of "mother" will be called into question many times throughout my life as to whether it really belongs to me. I thought those type of people were not really out there, but all you have to do is look on the internet or around the corner. I've already had my fair share of inappropriate remarks. Just this week I had someone liken our adoption to "a used care sale" and someone warning me that they will have thought they "hit the jackpot" when they "trick" us in to adopting a child with problems. Yeah, really, both to my face without a bit of hesitation.

I accept that my child will not just be thinking of me on that day. I will be thinking of her too. After all she will have given me the best gift of my life. Both of us this Mother's Day have an empty place in our heart. Neither of us are with our child on this day. Our child is in the care of others of which neither of us have any knowledge or control over.  Ten thousand miles apart but connected in this strange manner.  This Mother's Day we may be one of the few that could understand each other's pain. This year marks the first year we will share this day with each other and hopefully many more.