See ya later 2010....

I can't say I'm super sad to see 2010 go. It was probably the worst year I've had in recent memory....okay probably worst year ever. I try not to dwell too much on that fact now but I don't want to suppress it either. Everything that happened is still part of who I am and where I've come from and learned from. There is this whole thing about a "new year" that you are supposed to be so hopeful and bright about your year to come. Forget all of the bad things and think about the "sunny" future.  I'm sure that works for some people out there but those of us that have been burned significantly by having that hope are somewhat more hesitant to attack the year with that fury of joy.

I do have hope and optimism for this year. At this point it is slightly tempered with the mounting requirements and growing stress in front of us. I am confident this is the right path for us. I don't want people to be confused on that. It seems complaining about adoption isn't so acceptable. I get that feeling at least. Few people want to hear about the difficult or hard sides of it. It is like when someone asks how your day was and then you tell them actually how it was and as you are talking they start to stare off into space or ask you in the next breath if you watched Keeping up with the Kardashians last night (which by the way is one of my New Year's resolution....not watch that show ever again).

Maybe we will start 2012 as a family of three, maybe we won't, the odds are probably 50/50. I found a verse on another adoption blog I am going to try and keep in the back of my head for this year.

"Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful." Hebrews 10:23