How is that whole adoption thing going??

Yes, another adoption update. I really do have other things in life I want to blog about but February is not the month I have time to incorporate all of those brilliant other bits of my life I know you've been dying to hear about. Just wait, it's coming, try to contain yourself. There will be more insightful pop culture commentary in the future, mixed in with more pictures of my animals and house.

Anyway... a few things have happened on "Mission: Get My Paperwork Done Right Now So I Can......Wait Some More?" I did have a few other titles I considered but they all included profanity so we'll stick with this one for now. I would hate for our child to look at this some day and realize we once used curse words.

We slipped out of work early on Friday for a romantic rendezvous at...

You better know where that is or you are officially kicked out of the state. Well, sadly that would probably be more true if I showed you a picture of Larry the Cable Guy and you couldn't name him.  Yeah Nebraska. We were going to take our camera and take all of these "super fun" (a.k.a really nerdy-see previous photos of us with FedEx envelopes) shots of us at the State Capitol so we could tell our child more about their journey to us, but we forgot it. We have to go back down in April so we will get another shot anyway. Plus this is more time to plan those candid shots. I truly don't think I've been in the building since

Holt Adoption Stories

Since I can't write much this month I thought I would post a couple links to two blog posts on Holt's blog on adoption from China. We hope these stories help others learn more and understand more about our process and about adoption from China in general. 

Waiting child adoption from Omaha - Great story about adopting an older child from China by a family here in Omaha. 

China Child of Promise Adoption- Short story of a family that adopted through the same program we are

Gong Xi Fa Cai!

That means Happy New Year in Mandarin...I think! Blogger wouldn't allow me to use the Chinese characters but it should be close. For those of you that speak Mandarin please feel free to correct me. The Chinese New Year kicked off last Thursday Feb. 3rd. Happy year of the Rabbit! We didn't end up getting to really celebrate it this year due to some other circumstances but we are hoping next year we will be celebrating it with our son or daughter. We plan to make it a celebration every year with family and friends to help celebrate their Chinese culture, so expect invites next year!

The Chinese New Year is a celebration that lasts 15 days and is similar in importance and some ideas as the Christmas/ New Year's season in the United States.  Each year has an animal associated with it and everyone has a Chinese zodiac animal. It does not exactly correspond to birth years. This is the year of the Rabbit. I am

I'll show you where you can stick your notarizations...

Ahhhhh government agencies handling paperwork, just who you want to have your fate as parents in the hands of. I looked up the definition of "red tape" on wikipedia, the oh so factual encyclopedia, and according to them it is:  a colloquial and derisive term for excessive regulation or rigid conformity to formal rules that is considered redundant or bureaucratic and hinders or prevents action or decision-making. It is usually applied to governments, corporations and other large organizations.  Our agency notified us after sending all of our "completed" documents that some of them were notarized improperly and would be rejected by the government. Turns out by "some" they meant all but two. So this very minute they are on a FedEx plane on their way back from the agency to us to get all of them redone. Anyone sick of the VanDerMemes yet...no...okay.

Although at this point it doesn't matter too much, other than

Stuff liked in January

I decided each month I am going to make a post at the end of the month of a few items that brightened up my month in case you want enjoy them too. It's good to reflect on the small pleasures in life sometimes, as silly as they may be on occasion.

1. The movie "Forgetting Sarah Marshall"-- It's been replaying often this month on....I think TBS or USA or some channel like that, of course it is the edited version. I would recommend the unedited version. But I had forgotten how much I love this movie. One of the funniest, sweetest movies. Plus Jason Segel reminds me of Adam sometimes.

2. cb2--- This is Crate and Barrel's "modern" store. I've ordered a few things from them in the past but this year's new catalog had so many cool things in it and affordable as well. A lot of stuff for our new kid's room is going to be coming from here.

3. Leinenkugel's Sunset Wheat Beer-- Awesome, flavorful beer good

I got me a FedEx account!

We are officially sending off our dossier documents to Holt tomorrow. All of them! After a couple of months of notarizing and running around collecting all of this important info and photographs the FedEx envelope didn't look too impressive. Here we are with them for the last time. Can you guess who the "fun" parent is going to be?

They get sent to Holt who get started state certifying and federally authenticating them. Also our home study was approved today. We can now apply to citizenship and immigration this week which is kind of the key piece we need to get on the waiting list. Satisfied high five....

Checkboxes

Adam and I had to fill out our final medical checklist for our home study this past week. We had looked at it several times and had talked with a local pediatrician who is an expert in reviewing adoption referrals for medical reasons, but it was still one of the most difficult things in the process thus far. So many checkboxes to mark or not mark. This was the real document that would be going in our file and that we would be matched with a child off of. It drove home the reality that our child would be coming home with one of these medical problems. I don't want to sound like we hadn't considered this and thought about it extensively, we had. We had agreed this was the path we wanted to take. However when the process starts to move along there is a heightened reality at every step. This was one of those times. I have a feeling impending parenthood elicits....

Angry Dance

Everyone needs an angry dance, I'm going to start choreographing mine as an outlet for frustration! Any moves you would like to see let me know.

Angry dance to my favorite FedEx dropbox each time....................eventually you might see me on the evening news.

Yikes!

We have entered the phase of our adoption process where we have nothing we can do to move things forward! It's much more frustrating than I would have thought......best expressed by James Van Der Beek. He's the new mode of feeling expression for our adoption blog. I'm sure there might be some of you wondering who the heck is James Van Der Beek, that's unfortunate. Ever heard of a show called Dawson's Creek......

Yesterday we finished up all of the paperwork we could do for the process and now we just wait for documents to come back to us and the government to say we can adopt. As I'm writing that it does irritate me a bit I have to wait for the government (and many others) to say I am fit to be a parent, but players gotta play the game I guess. As some of you may know, I am a slightly independent person and having to rely on others to get something this important done makes me feel a bit like Mr. Van Der Beek above.

Home study visits.........no Doug Wilson

Our first home study visit was on last Friday and our last one Wednesday and much to my surprise Doug Wilson did not show up with our social worker. I was hoping in addition to all of the deeply personal discussion we were going to be having it would be a mini-version of Moving Up (TLC home improvement show circa 2008) where the old owners love all of the changes we made. Despite no dramatic reveals the visits went really well!

It was really a painless process with a few tough questions but overall kind of.....fun? We got to talk about ourselves a lot.....who doesn't love that? Our social worker and her student are both really great and easy to work with. As you may know from reading the previous posts our social worker is actually the person we bought our house from (hence the "Moving Up" reference). I couldn't exactly read her reaction to all of the changes we made to our home, but overall it was quite positive! We had all of our smoke detectors working and a fire extinguisher which.......

You can adopt boys from China?

We have gotten this question/ statement several times.......so you will be adopting a girl right? Turns out there are quite a few boys in our program and really it is probably a 50/50 probability for gender in our specific China program. Being open to a boy may actually help us be matched quicker because a lot of people looking at China are looking for girls. It is true in the traditional China program for healthy children almost all are girls but many boys are abandoned for having any sort of medical problems. Below is a link to a blog post about adopting boys from the China Child or Promise Program!

How Did You Adopt a Boy from China?

Adoption Tax Credit Extended through 2012!

Thank you president Obama! Sort of good news.....we thought the tax credit wasn't going to be renewed for 2012 and if we didn't end up completing our adoption this year we wouldn't get it. It's been extended through 2012 but it won't be refundable anymore. Which sucks because you don't get the extra money over the amount you owe back, they just keep the remainder over what you owe but it is better than nothing. There are a few more specifics about the tax credit at the following link if you are interested!

Adoption Tax Credit Extended!

There is a card for everything.

There really is a card for everything......I needed this one about 2 months ago.  Actually about 10 years ago.

Some of you may be receiving these soon..............

See ya later 2010....

I can't say I'm super sad to see 2010 go. It was probably the worst year I've had in recent memory....okay probably worst year ever. I try not to dwell too much on that fact now but I don't want to suppress it either. Everything that happened is still part of who I am and where I've come from and learned from. There is this whole thing about a "new year" that you are supposed to be so hopeful and bright about your year to come. Forget all of the bad things and think about the "sunny" future.  I'm sure that works for some people out there but those of us that have been burned significantly by having that hope are somewhat more hesitant to attack the year with that fury of joy.

I do have hope and optimism for this year. At this point it is slightly tempered with the mounting requirements and growing stress in front of us. I am confident this is the right path for us. I don't want people to be confused on that. It seems complaining about adoption isn't so acceptable. I get that feeling at least. Few people want to hear about the difficult or hard sides of it. It is like when someone asks how your day was and then you tell them actually how it was and as you are talking they start to stare off into space or ask you in the next breath if you watched Keeping up with the Kardashians last night (which by the way is one of my New Year's resolution....not watch that show ever again).

Maybe we will start 2012 as a family of three, maybe we won't, the odds are probably 50/50. I found a verse on another adoption blog I am going to try and keep in the back of my head for this year.

"Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful." Hebrews 10:23

Holt International Magazine

Click on the link below to our adoption agency's Summer magazine! It focuses on the China Child of Promise Program which we are doing! Just double click on the front cover after you click on the link below to read it in full screen.
Summer Issue 2010

Also found a T-shirt for the new addition to the Cook Family when they arrive!

Merry Christmas!

Christmas always seems to sneak up on me. Here it is the day we are heading home and as usual I'm rushing to get everything wrapped and ready to go! I hope this Christmas is Adam and I's last as just us and I can't help but think about Baby Cook. I've been somewhat hesitant to use that term given it's always seemed like Baby Cook was just a possibility instead of a reality. But I received an email from a friend this week wishing us and the future Baby Cook a Merry Christmas that helped me realize that's okay to say now. Thinking about our son or daughter this Christmas brings a lot of mixed feelings. I am much more hopeful and in a much better place this year for Christmas because of the adoption. At family gatherings where I see parents with their children I can actually think that might be us next year. I'm also much more aware of the meaning of the season and more spiritual given the path we have went on for the past year. All good things! On the other hand this is our child's first Christmas, and we are not there with them. Most likely they are spending it in an orphanage over in China without a family. I know they have caregivers and many other children with them but it is still very hard to think of your child without you for their first holiday. I pray that they are warm and can feel how much their future family loves them from far away! They do have a present waiting under our tree for them. Hopefully they will be able to open it next Christmas or shortly thereafter. It was much harder than I thought to buy a gender neutral, age neutral small gift! Especially at the end of the Christmas season at Target. I wanted to get a stuffed animal but nothing cheesy like a teddy bear so I ended up with.........Sesame Street's Count von Count! A little bit weird but Baby Cook is going to have to learn to deal with a little weirdness living with us, thought why not start early!

I also realized I could easily turn in to one of those parents who goes crazy to get the exact toy I want for our child. We were on the hunt for a Barbie for our niece and we wanted to get her a somewhat Asian American looking Barbie. Harder to find than you would think, something I hadn't thought too much about until I went shopping for dolls of different ethnicity. Anyway it must have been the most popular Barbie this season because everyone was sold out online. After visiting 3 Targets and a Walmart I found one! As I grabbed it off the shelf I wanted to shout out "HA!" to the people standing around me and run with it to the checkout. Unfortunately I had to get groceries there which slightly tempered my excitement by the time I reached the checkout. I must say it was a small rush though.



Still did my usual holiday baking and actually got my Christmas cards I had printed 2 years ago sent out! I scaled back to only a few types of cookies but I did make one type I have been wanting to make for a couple years. They are called Seven Layer Cookies. They always looked really pretty and they actually taste quite good too! They were much easier than I thought too. Layers of almond cookie with apricot jam between and bittersweet chocolate on top and bottom.

I really enjoy this time of year and I wish everyone a Merry Christmas and hope I get to see as many of you as possible!

Case for Adoption

This is a lovely opinion piece on adoption for the Christmas season.
WSJ Adoption OpEd
If anyone is considering adoption I highly recommend you read Scott Simon's "Baby We Were Meant For Each Other" book.

Plus he works for NPR and I'm a giant NPR nerd! And in the spirit of Christmas and NPR.......enjoy!

SAD

It's official.....Baxter's seasonal affective disorder (SAD) has once again set in for the winter. Only three more months of moping!

Home Projects in the Fall

We are addicted to home projects!  We did a few smaller projects this fall.  All done by us and for less than $500 with the exception of the entryway which was paid for by State Farm after damage from a windstorm. Next up kitchen countertops and backsplash!

First Floor Fireplace- New facade and tile heart

                             Before                                                                            After          

Front Porch/ Door- Hard to tell in these photos but new stone on porch/ stairs, new railing, new screen door and entry door (painted green by me!)

                           Before                                                                                 After

Laundry Room- No before photo but new floor, countertops, curtains (made by me!)etc. I like doing laundry a lot more now!

Happy Anniversary from the State Patrol!

We've been married for 7 years today, hard to believe! Best decision I've made to date. The State Patrol decided to give us a gift this year, our fingerprint cards and background check information back in the mail. Apparently we wrote the check for too much money! Back it goes with our first setback of a week or two. On a side note when I got fingerprinted at the State Patrol I found out my prints are very fine....which I believe makes them harder to detect. Muwhahahaha!

We're Adopting!

Doesn't have quite the same ring as "we're pregnant" but who cares, because we're adopting! One of the objectives of this blog is to document our adoption journey and progress so other people could follow if they choose. We realize not everyone cares as much about this process as we do but we thought this would be a good way for progress reports. We are also using part of this blog to help us document our journey for our new son or daughter that will be part of their Lifebook we are creating for them. There are of course things for just our son or daughter we won't share but we thought this would help us remember some of the details and some comments from friends/ family to share with them later. More to come about the Lifebook in the future. Hopefully some of you can be a part of it! If you have any questions, any at all please ask us through this process. There are a lot of misconceptions and fears people have about adoption and we want all of our family and friends to feel as comfortable about the process as possible.

Our adoption agency is Holt International (www.holtinternational.org). They are a national non-profit organization that has one of their branch offices located in Omaha! Which is awesome. They pretty much started the international adoption movement and have tons of experience and support. In a strange twist of fate the branch director and our assigned social worker is the wife in the couple we bought our house from. Crazy! She actually will be doing a home study in her old home! Everything with our home sale went down well and she's knows it's a good house for kids so we felt comfortable with it.

We are doing the China Child of Promise Program. It is a program for children that have correctable physical conditions. Common conditions are cleft lip/ palate, missig digits, club foot, minor heart defects, etc. We get to choose what conditions we are willing to take on. Most children are between 12-36 months but we have requested a child 18 months or younger. We did not preference gender. While girls are more common from China due to their one child policy, in our program there are both. The wait time is anywhere from 12-18 months from application to when your bring your child home. We have heard the wait might actually be lessening so in our perfect ideal world we will have a child home before Christmas next year but that is best case scenario. Really what's another year after having been at this for 2 already.

Our application was sent in on 11/9. The journey started at the gorgeous Elmwood Park Post Office!

A brief overview of the process: Our application was ......

New Mexico!

We drove down to Albuquerque to visit my brother and sister in law (Kate & Todd).  Terribly boring drive but fun trip. Stayed in some questionable hotels Kansas and Colorado. Elected not to go for the Motel 6 in Kansas with the bulletproof glass and strange men loitering outside. Smart choice I think. It was really fun and we had never been to New Mexico. We did some abbreviated hiking, went to the nuclear museum, ate good food, visited Santa Fe.

Ovarian cysts- Best thing that ever happened to us?

I developed ovarian cysts from the hyperstimulatory drugs I was taking back in late September and we were forced to stop treatment for what ended up being 2 months. We were so angry and frustrated we couldn’t continue. Turns out it was the best thing that could have happened to us.

One piece of advice for couples going through treatment is to take a month off here and there. I know I know…..if someone had told me that during our treatment I would have been like, “who the f**k do you think you are, I’ll decide what’s best for me.”

For once we were forced to take a step back and see things from a more clear, “less babycrazy” perspective. We took a vacation and......

Yeah, we’re “those” people.

I vividly remember the day we were sitting in the reproductive endocrinologists office for our consultation. There were actual fertility masks in her office. I quickly glanced to her degrees on the wall making a mental note to check her residency program’s reputation.  We had waited 3 months for the appointment (and that’s actually getting in a month early)! We sat there looking at each other and having to admit we were “those people” now. It shined a giant spotlight on the reality that we were officially joining the elite ranks of the reproductively defective.

The 6 months that followed made us realize what being “those people” meant. We endured every other day transvaginal ultrasounds, testicular biopsies, daily injections, etc. Our life became all about having a baby. It changed almost everything. We became different people. The cycles of small amounts of hope followed by tremendous disappointment month after month take their toll quickly. Those of you that have struggled with infertility know.......

The Cooks!

It's my first blog post! Most people who will read this probably will already know us a bit but I thought I would take the opportunity to tell everyone a little bit more about our little family. I'm Kristen and I have a wonderful husband, Adam. That's us!

We live in Nebraska and both turned 30 within the past year. We both work for UNMC here. I teach pharmacy school and work as a pharmacist in the outpatient clinics at the VA. Adam works as a software developer. We "love" renovating and have done tons of projects in our home. Love in quotation marks as it's often a love/hate relationship with the house! Adam's very handy and being naive to start with helped because once you rip something out you have to figure out how to fix it! I'll post some before and afters in later posts and I'm sure we'll have more projects in the upcoming year to post about. We love to travel, our next trip is Albuquerque/ Santa Fe in about a week to visit Kate and Todd (my sister and brother in law)! I like to cook and bake. We like to eat and try new restaurants. I am addicted to several TV shows, etc. etc. I won't bore you with more details of our likes and dislikes. You'll figure it out. Oh yeah we do have three pets and great families and friends you'll hear more about later!

Baxter

Timmy

Ester

Why blog now?? (anyone a Millionaire Matchmaker fan??)

We have always wanted to start a family blog and are starting a new journey in our lives. After trying to have a family the "traditional" way and fertility treatments for 2 years we are beginning our adoption journey! So excited! More to come on that later!  

The title of the blog....... it was the title of my column in the high school newspaper and back then meant "smooth" (slight inspiration from the Mike Myers "Coffee Talk" sketches) . Kind of high school, I know. However since then I've definetly realized not everything works out so smoothly. I'd like to say I decided to keep the name to reflect my deeply sarcastic sense of humor and reflect the wonderful irony of life but it was mainly because I couldn't think of anything else cool. Cook's Corner or Cookin with Gas or Cook's Country (for all of you PBS fans) just didn't have the same ring to them. We hope you enjoy!